Does mother has right to think of career ?

She spent 10+ yrs in school , join degree college with dream in eye to become successful engineer one day. By the time her degree college came to end.recession hit india and it become so tough to find job. She didn’t lose hope and keep on struggling and found decent job soon. After completing 1yr..she move to new city hyderabad, far away from her own family, frens..just to nurture her career and achieve good position. It was not easy living alone that too with totally different culture around. Still she manged and survived there.

After staying one yr and learning all the stuff she came back to delhi..It was like dream come true for her to stay with family and work in reputed company at good position . Then one day he came to her life and she fell in luv  and got married soon. Marriage never came in between her first luv ie her career. She still use to work with same enthu and zest in office. He was too very supportive and late office hours, long meetings, sometime work in weekend too..never created problem in their married life.

And then a lil fairy came into their world who took away all the attention , time , thinking process and her first baby ( career) took backseat for timebeing. After 4month of maternity leave she started working from home..Earlier things were ease and she was just working few hours a day and getting handsome salary at end of month. But there is something called JOB SATISFACTION . To keep you upto date with latest technology , to raise your hand for handling new project or new team need some courage and lot of time which a mother of 9month old baby cant give.

This is my story and I feel it happens with all of us…..when you feel like you are torn between family and work. Recently there were lot of promotions, grade changes at office and my name was not in last coz of obvious reason..i work from home and indian management has mentality that work from home is leisurely work ..u cant be serious abt it..though my UK Manager doesn’t think same and happily agreed to let me work from home as long as i required. But giving monetary benefit and new position is in hand of indian management. To proove myself in front of them again..i need to do some certifications and now it seems so tough to get time for studies.

Its so frustrating to see ur juniors going ahead of you..just coz they are working from office and so called boss has trust in them that they wont leave job coz of child raising issues.

So what shd a mother do…..Sit at home and feel satisfied that atleast at end of  month she is earning decent salary and also near to her child ….and at lil corner of heart feel disappointed ..to see the way her career is going…

I know every mother has to go through this phase and I m no exception to this…and i m not saying its not worth…But then does that mean mother shd never give importance to career……..

we can’t say that i can concentrate again after few yrs when she will be big enough to go to school….bt then wouldnt she required me that time…There is no end to motherhood journey..

Eight Month Update !!

 

Her fav place is corner of kitchen where the most precious element of our house reside…my angel’s fav dustbin the moment we get her into walker ..she run toward dustbin.the only way to stop her is to close the kitchen door..Once kitchen door is closed next target is dark areas like under study table where electic socket is there and TV wire which she normally pull like its her swing..

She is perfect in crawling now and she also know that if she will cross the bed.she may fall….she always run toward corner of bed and then start looking at ground but never try to jump from bed smart girl indeed

Once her tummy is full she immediately removes the bib or her apron …and with a clear looks on me that her stomach is full and i shd stop pushing more food inside

Her fav game is peek a boo …even at midnight she play this with her dad…and whole day with me..this is our instant solution to stop her from crying

She easily feel bored with her toys…doesnt matter how attractive or expensive it is..she maximum play with it for 3days and after that if i try to give the same to her..she will immediately throws it..Now obviously i cant buy new toy every other day so i started toys with which she is bored and show to her after few days .

She is more interested in playing with my cell phone, empty boxes, wrappers, her diaper,clothes , tv remote etc

Few nights in this month were really miserable for her as tooth period going on but all her hard work of endless irritation on head and irritation in her gums pays off when we first saw bright white  line on those small gums So now she is proud owner of 2 lower teeth and 2 upper

Changing dipaers or clothes has become very tough. It’s really really tough to get her sit peacefully and let me do my work. Sometime I m lucky to interest her in some toy or cloth or any box) otherwise struggle continue to even 30mins… Sometime I feel two ppl are needed to change her cloth…One to laid her down when she protest loudly and violently and other can quickly finish the deed

She hates to sit..always try to stand up..now she can hold bed back and try to stand the thing which stump her is how to sit back so either she just do dham and fall back on bed or start crying so that I shd rush and rescue her

now a days she babble coos and smiles a lot…her fav word is Ta Ta Ta Ta ta ta….the moment i say this she start repeating ta ta ta ta…and she make sound like grrrrrrrrrr…like running scooter sound I have recorded her voice  in my mobile and whenever I play that in front of her…she starts smiling and also singing her ta ta ta again.

She just can’t withstand cap on her head…despite of this freezing cold she refuse to let her skarf or any cap stay more than 2mins.

I have started giving her sooji kheer and boiled and mashed potato and peas.

Achievement of the month – 4 white glowing shiney teeth

Moment of the month - At night while sleeping next to me..she put my finger inside her mouth and pressed it with full force under her tiny teeth….i was in deep sleep and not at all ready for this sudden attack and litterly shouted and she started crying..and tried to put my finger back in her mouth so that she can bite

Mother’s Guilt !!!!

I think most of the parents would agree that parenthood or specially motherhood brings a feeling of guilt….and right now i m on guilt trip..

Weather is changing here and its bit of cold these days…HD adviced me last week to cover angel..with full sleeves clothes ..I dont know why i took it lightly.,I felt it’s not that cold and she can still wear her normal stuff..thought i started using full pants instead of half..but top were normal either half or without sleeves…

three days back she showed symptoms of cold like taking breath heavily and a kind of sound was coming from her nose which comes when its start of cold for you…i did home remedy to cure it….and to some extent that helped too. This saturday  we went to my fren’s place to wish him for his baby girl…Other office buddies also planned to come at same time so that we all can meet….I was too excited to meet them as its been long for me to catch up with my office buddies..In my over excitement i didnt notice that this may exhaust angel..We spent 6hrs out of house including 2 hrs of commuting time…needless to say angel get super exhausted and got severe cold and minor cough and fever…her running nose and sad face made me feel like hell.

the girl who use to smile 100 times a day is just not smiling now…

the girl who was super active and use to make her mother tired is now laying like a sad lazy fellow

the girl whose legs and arms use to never stop moving while awake is just silent now …

the girl who use to eat anything whatever her mommy use to feed is now hardly taking milk even

the girl who use to sleep quietly whole night has not slept properly from last  two nights…

And here is her mother cursing herself why the heck i didnt take things seriously..May be i became over-confident mother as angel never fall sick till now..this is her first time..

Took her to doc yesterday and now giving medicine…i hate giving medicine to her but there is no other way..she is bit better today but not completely ok.. I know am trying my best to get rid of this sickness but this guilt inside me is bothering me more !!…sigh

Aa Mi Ma Aa Mi Ma

Aa Mi Ma Aa Mi Ma

 

thats what angel said last night…Like a normal night scene…me and mil were trying hard to get her to sleep and she was crying …and suddenly she said….”Aa Mi Ma A Mi Ma…hubby just shouted and said “did you listen what she said…..I dont know i was in which extreme thought i just didnt listen and felt bad…

then suddenly she repeated it again..” Ma Mi Ma Ma…….

and i literally jumped off from bed…it was amazing feeling ..i felt like on top of world…tried hard so that she can speak the same line again….repeated 100 of time Ma Ma in front of her….but she keep on smiling on me…as if she is saying…” I will not repeat my valuable words ”

 

It is possible to fall in love with your child more and more the longer you know them…and I have fallen even more in love with my little girl  after she said these words..

Few days back around 5 :00 in the morning we were sleeping and angel was laying between us and making sounds aa ao aa ao….like she normally keep on making and suddenly she said pa pa…..we dont know whether she actually said…or it was just our interpretation…but me and hd both felt the same that she said pa… After hearing this our sleep lost and we just felt so happy…..sometime its tough to pen your feelings….

I think my lil girl is growing big so soon….Wish to hear more Pa and Ma from u soon angel

Luv u a lot my princess !!!!